Why Anxious?

Naming something new is always hard. When I was coming up with a name for this blog last week I was trying to think of something technical at first. But I knew that I wanted to discuss other things that were perhaps less technical, but still related to outreach ministry.

So I decided I wanted a name that would reflect my general state of being. Number one - I'd like to be a disciple. Our church's ministry is about making passionate disciples. Check. Secondly, I also wanted to describe the passion I feel about my personal ministry of trying to help our church with technology. But at the same time, I wanted to reflect some sense of how overwhelmed I can feel.

While running through words in my head the word "Anxious" came up. Sure, I feel anxious a lot - I'm sure anyone who knows me can tell you that. Being anxious can often be thought of as a bad thing. Dictionary.com says

uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried

Well, OK, maybe a little extreme, but I have worry and fear some times when faced with the "great unknown" of technology for Christ.

But, here's the cool part. Anxious can also mean

earnestly desirous; eager

So...bingo. At the same time, I feel fearful and worried, but also very eager and passionate about what I'm doing. So, I'm the anxious disciple.